Bridal: Blog Post

‘When to First-Look’: Copy

The bridal superstitions abound, from good luck to bad.

At their forefront lies that of not seeing the groom until the ceremony, but the recent installment by some couples of a ‘first look’ dares to duck the omen it carries.

“Did you have a first look?”

I blurted last weekend, to a long-time wedding photographer.

Reaching among the gauzy fold of our bride’s veil and carefully arranging its beaded edge for a flat-lay shot, she answered,

“No, and I really regret it.”

Opinions swirl regarding whether or not, and when to, ‘first look’. The longest held, that of the nineteenth century, stands in line with that of the business-deal bridal used to be. Typically arranged by the father of the bride, the tradition began with simple, and frankly, as far from romantic of origins as one can imagine. Fathers feared that, if she was seen before the ceremony, a prospective husband might find his wife-to-be unattractive, calling off the wedding and casting significant shame upon her family. Something about this belief has, across time, also stemmed into the thought that seeing your bride before saying ‘I do’ can even bring bad luck.

Now, couples that select to still follow with this ancient practice, one arising out of an era of arranged marriage, choose to do so for very different, distinct reasons. Mainly, most couples opting to let their ‘first look’ take place while walking down the aisle do so to savor the surprise and genuine reaction of a soon-to-be wife being seen in all her bridal glory, and allow this to be witnessed by those closest to them. Many couples hold the vision of seeing each other for the first time while across the aisle as nearly sacred, and can’t imagine surrendering it.
In lieu of holding to this view, many brides and grooms have begun to choose to hold a ‘first look’ privately, before the ceremony takes place. For many reasons, including the opportunity to exchange private vows, take photos alone before guests arrive, and add efficiency to the day’s timeline, maximizing pre-ceremony hours, the ‘first look’ has stepped to the front of modern wedding day standards.

“It’s just too overwhelming. It’s not possible to truly take in that much at once,” our photographer-friend explained. “Everyone’s looking at him, looking at you, and the moment passes so quickly…you can’t actually absorb what’s happening in that instant.”

This reflection provides anecdotal advice, and shows how the decision to or not to ‘look’ is dictated by the personality of the couple. Many can’t envision not seeing their future spouse in the hours leading up to the ceremony, but a ‘first look’ isn’t the only opportunity to do so. Morning-of vows or love letters, a little walk, and even a coffee on the lawn are just a few ways to spend last moments together as fiancé’s without being in ceremony attire.

Whether down the aisle or alone, here are some of our favorite ‘first look’ moments.